MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Bankruptcy Filed

shit bitchin

Founder: Baron • Closed: Fiscal Year 5 • Build: 1.0.0CONTENT 30DEE960 • Filed: September 12, 2026 at 09:42 UTC
Final Valuation
$2,120
Final Liquid Funding
$899
Fiscal Review Record
2 Wins / 3 Setbacks

Executive Lineup (Board)

▲ 30
Oil Well
Agile
✦ MVP ✦
Agile

Oil Well

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
Permanently gain +40 Valuation.
Profit 30.
Agile
Agile
10% faster.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
⇈ 1
Patent Portfolio

Patent Portfolio

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY SCHEME
10.0
SEC
Permanently gain +10 Valuation.
Gain 1 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
⇈ 8
Old Money

Old Money

PLUS
MEDIUM PROPERTY
5.0
SEC
Gain 8 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
⇈ 3
Interest Check

Interest Check

PLUS
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
Gain 3 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
▲ 30
Factorybot
Patented
Patented

Factorybot

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE
6.0
SEC
Profit 30.
Patented
Patented
At the start of battle, gain 15 Moat.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
▼ 40
Paper Tiger

Paper Tiger

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SCHEME
4.0
SEC
Inflict 40 Loss.
Stock 1.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
#9
Corporate Mole

Corporate Mole

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
The rival loses -10 Valuation.

Enacted Corporate Policies

Old Money Rules
#1
Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Recurring Revenue
#2
Permanently gain +2 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Aggressive Expansion
#3
Permanently gain +25 Valuation.
Quality Assurance
#4
When one of your assets is Liquidated, gain 60 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Automated
#5
POLICY
Your Machines act 10% faster.
Lean Operations
#6
Your assets act 300 faster.
Underdog
#7
POLICY
While behind on Cash, your assets work 100% faster.
POLICY SLOT
#8

Fiscal Growth Timeline

INSOLVENCY FILED
Cumulative Wins
Cumulative Losses
Bankruptcy Limit (3)
Conceded 3 fatal setbacks by Fiscal Year 5, triggering mandatory corporate bankruptcy.
FINAL OUTCOME FISCAL YEAR 5 $2,120 VALUATION 2 Wins / 3 Setbacks
0 Baseline 2 ▲ 3 BANKRUPTCY 4 6 ★ 8 DOMINATION Yr 1 $170 Fiscal Year 1: 1 Wins, 0 Setbacks, $170 Valuation Yr 2 $220 Fiscal Year 2: 1 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $220 Valuation Yr 3 $965 Fiscal Year 3: 2 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $965 Valuation Yr 4 $1,510 Fiscal Year 4: 2 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $1,510 Valuation Yr 5 $2,120 Fiscal Year 5: 2 Wins, 3 Setbacks, $2,120 Valuation
Audit Raw Fiscal Records (Tabular Breakdown)
Fiscal Year Closing Valuation Cumulative Wins Cumulative Setbacks Status
Year 1 $170 1 0 Stable
Year 2 $220 1 1 Setback
Year 3 $965 2 1 Stable
Year 4 $1,510 2 2 1 Strike Left
Year 5 $2,120 2 3 Bankrupt

Ongoing Boardroom Performance

At each year-end, an audit snapshot of shit bitchin is filed to challenge rival corporate executives during their End-of-Year Showdowns.

Showdown Record
2W / 2L
4 battles fought as rival board
Board Win Rate
50.0%
2 rivals repelled
Active Board Snapshots
5 Filings
Years 1 through 5

Annual Boardroom Snapshots

Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.

5 Years Archived
YEAR 1 $170 0W - 0S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Interest Check

Interest Check

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
Gain 2 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Factorybot

Factorybot

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE
6.0
SEC
Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Middle Manager

Middle Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
Inflict 15 Loss.
When you use an adjacent Employee, inflict 10 Loss and gain 5 Moat.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
YEAR 2 $220 1W - 0S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Middle Manager

Middle Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
Inflict 15 Loss.
When you use an adjacent Employee, inflict 10 Loss and gain 5 Moat.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Interest Check

Interest Check

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
Gain 2 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Factorybot
Patented

Factorybot

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE
6.0
SEC
Profit 30.
Patented
Patented
At the start of battle, gain 15 Moat.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Policies
Old Money Rules
Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Recurring Revenue
Permanently gain +2 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
YEAR 3 $655 1W - 1S
Assets
Oil Well

Oil Well

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
Permanently gain +40 Valuation.
Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Patent Portfolio

Patent Portfolio

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY SCHEME
10.0
SEC
Permanently gain +10 Valuation.
Gain 1 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Old Money
+

Old Money

PLUS
MEDIUM PROPERTY
5.0
SEC
Gain 8 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Interest Check
+

Interest Check

PLUS
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
Gain 3 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Factorybot
Patented

Factorybot

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE
6.0
SEC
Profit 30.
Patented
Patented
At the start of battle, gain 15 Moat.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Policies
Old Money Rules
Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Recurring Revenue
Permanently gain +2 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Aggressive Expansion
Permanently gain +25 Valuation.
YEAR 4 $1,420 2W - 1S
Assets
Oil Well

Oil Well

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
Permanently gain +40 Valuation.
Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Patent Portfolio

Patent Portfolio

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY SCHEME
10.0
SEC
Permanently gain +10 Valuation.
Gain 1 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Old Money
+

Old Money

PLUS
MEDIUM PROPERTY
5.0
SEC
Gain 8 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Interest Check
+

Interest Check

PLUS
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
Gain 3 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Factorybot
Patented

Factorybot

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE
6.0
SEC
Profit 30.
Patented
Patented
At the start of battle, gain 15 Moat.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Paper Tiger

Paper Tiger

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SCHEME
4.0
SEC
Inflict 40 Loss.
Stock 1.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
Corporate Mole

Corporate Mole

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
The rival loses -10 Valuation.
Policies
Old Money Rules
Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Recurring Revenue
Permanently gain +2 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Aggressive Expansion
Permanently gain +25 Valuation.
Quality Assurance
When one of your assets is Liquidated, gain 60 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
YEAR 5 $1,950 2W - 2S
Assets
Oil Well
Agile

Oil Well

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
Permanently gain +40 Valuation.
Profit 30.
Agile
Agile
10% faster.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Patent Portfolio

Patent Portfolio

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY SCHEME
10.0
SEC
Permanently gain +10 Valuation.
Gain 1 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Old Money
+

Old Money

PLUS
MEDIUM PROPERTY
5.0
SEC
Gain 8 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Interest Check
+

Interest Check

PLUS
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
Gain 3 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Factorybot
Patented

Factorybot

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE
6.0
SEC
Profit 30.
Patented
Patented
At the start of battle, gain 15 Moat.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Paper Tiger

Paper Tiger

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SCHEME
4.0
SEC
Inflict 40 Loss.
Stock 1.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
Corporate Mole

Corporate Mole

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
The rival loses -10 Valuation.
Policies
Old Money Rules
Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Recurring Revenue
Permanently gain +2 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Aggressive Expansion
Permanently gain +25 Valuation.
Quality Assurance
When one of your assets is Liquidated, gain 60 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Automated
POLICY
Your Machines act 10% faster.
Lean Operations
Your assets act 300 faster.
Underdog
POLICY
While behind on Cash, your assets work 100% faster.